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NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Comedy • Society-and-culture

For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions aboutRead more

Popular episodes

NLO 1405: Goodluck N

Nov 23 • 01:40:03

Patrick is completing his transition, and not one of the fun ones where you end up with a shiny new reproductive organ. He’s completing his transition in to a childless father. A dad in spirit, if you will. This week, Patrick went shopping for patio furniture and also bought a freezer for the garage. This is peak dad behavior. Patrick is offended at Big Irish Jay’s phone e...

Aftershow 1401: Trouble in Thai-land!

Nov 16 • 40:58

Patrick is headed to Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas, but before he goes, it feels like we should at least cover the latest insanity rising up out of the sweltering sewer that is Las Vegas comedy. Let's go over the recent events perpetrated by everyone's favorite dramatic dildo, Thai Rivera, and the horniest promoter this side of St. Louis, Trouble aka Artemis Rios! These tw...

NLO 1404: A Wristed Development

Nov 15 • 01:12:58

Patrick has been taking the week before his birthday to relax and float about in his newly installed swim spa. The bubbly warm waters flowing over a boy’s parts is rejuvenating to no end. Ask someone about it. It’s the fountain of youth for a senior citizen such as Patrick. We start the show by noting the fragility of life and taking a moment to remember another fallen com...

NLO 1403: Spa Sabotage

Nov 6 • 01:07:00

Patrick is back from the road, has stories about it, and has some new steam to vent about his recent white people problem. Patrick recounts his drive from Oklahoma back to Las Vegas, powered by a combination of sheer will and prescription medication. Patrick has been waiting for the day his glorious swim spa would arrive for over 9 months now. After several delays from the...

NLO 1402: Checking Chad

Oct 22 • 59:32

Patrick is on the road, and that means less frequent podcasts, slower uploads, and disgruntled listeners everywhere. It’s ok, kids. You’ll be fine. More shows are on the way. On this episode, Patrick sits down with comedian Chad Zumock to talk about their week working in Tulsa, Oklahoma, as well as various topics in the world, from the ongoing nightmare of the pandemic to ...

NLO 1401: Boobies & The Blowfish

Oct 5 • 02:15:58

Patrick wants you to subscribe and follow his standup YouTube channel for a project he will be doing all October long, writing new bits and uploading successes and failures along the way. Patrick talks about some recent outings, which leads to a discussion of Eddie Ifft, Chad Zumock, and Graham Elwood. Patrick recounts his experience with Graham Elwood years ago, and we wa...

NLO 1400: Hilton, Horns & Honey Boy

Sep 15 • 02:08:51

Patrick is back after struggling to get the studio PC up and running for four days. It still isn’t working great and this show may have some glitches! He is in a surly mood as of late, after having his beard lopped off with no warning at a questionable salon in Buffalo, NY. Things didn’t get much better with his accommodation in NYC, where the hotel had leaks, no televisio...

NLO 1398: Eat the Homeless

Sep 3 • 02:37:53

Patrick is back from NYC and he’s seen enough of your world to know he doesn’t want to be in it. Somehow this show dips it’s toes in to the icy waters of politics and doomsday again. with even more yelling and intolerance by grandpa Melton. Patrick thinks the answer is much simpler than you think – you might just be stupid. Twitter wars are back and more fun than ever! Pat...

NLO Classic: Heavy Dooty (Show 764)

Aug 27 • 01:46:29

Originally published February 28, 2012. CHRIS FAIRBANKS is here and he’s giving us the low-down on whether Ellen seems like a nice person or not, and also offering up theories on how weird porno works. BRIAN KING is also in the studio, and we talk about the Oscars and tweeting, watch the most annoying baby commercial ever, and check in on 90’s sensation Scatman John to see...

NLO 1397: For The Greater Good

Aug 18 • 01:51:18

Patrick can’t seem to get it together. He’s got things to rant about. He has opinions on things from an old friend’s newest podcast to some racist job ads he saw recently. He wants to brag about things like learning how to make onion rings from Bobby Flay and getting his swim spa early. He has a trip to NYC for shows coming up next week. Everything devolves quickly into an...

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